Losing Christianity, finding Islam
Liz Desmond's path to Islam started when she was a young girl.
"It's kind of a long story, and pretty personal actually," she says.
Desmond grew up Baptist and while attending a private Baptist school, she started to realize her disconnect with her religion. "I remember wanting to believe so very, very badly. I was young, I didn't really know that you could be any other religion ... I remember actually almost feeling depressed or a lot of anxiety that I, I didn't believe what everyone else believed," Desmond said.
When Desmond was a sophomore at Penn State she had her first encounter with Islam. She met a student from Egypt, he was Muslim, they fell in love and became engaged.
"We were very much in love, but there came a time when he had to move back to Egypt," Desmond said. In order to see her fiancé, Desmond decided to study abroad in Egypt. By the time Desmond arrived in Egypt, the relationship was over, but her connection to Islam grew stronger, Desmond said.
"I loved living in a Muslim country, I really did. I loved the way the people related to each other and I just loved the mosques. I love Arabic," Desmond said.
When Desmond came back from Egypt in fall 2010, she contacted the president of the Muslim Student Association and began attending mosque and learning more about Islam. Desmond studied Islam for about six months before officially converting at a MSA meeting in November 2010.
Desmond's life is still in a state of transition. At school, Desmond lives the life of a practicing Muslim, but things are different when she visits home in Beech Creek, Pa. Desmond's parents, who are devout Christians, don't know she is Muslim, and probably won't approve, Desmond said.
While at home, Desmond "pretends to be Christian" and "can't" wear her hijab, a headscarf worn by some Islamic women. After converting, Desmond spent a couple months researching the hijab and in January 2011 she began wearing it.
"I did it for a couple reasons ... To dress modestly, to cover your hair, is definitely recommended by the Koran. The other thing is, I'm not culturally Muslim so when people see me they don't know, before I was wearing the hijab, that I was Muslim. But now that I wear it, I very much like being identified as a Muslim," Desmond said.
Desmond said there are some struggles to being Muslim. Muslims don't drink, don't eat pork, and pray five times a day. Although she says it wasn't hard to give up drinking, it took a toll on her social life. "People think when you go out and you don't drink that your judging them when your really not, so my social life took kinda a hit but I kinda filled it with sorta new Muslim friends," Desmond said.
"I will say this. I miss bacon," she confessed. "I would admit it to anyone. Bacon is good! It's kinda funny because only other converts really understand this."
On praying: "It's a little bit hard to remember to pray. It's sometimes hard when you're traveling because you have to wash before prayers and that can be a little bit tricky. But, praying is so very, very important for your spirituality. Personally, If I didn't pray, I don't know where I would be," Desmond said.
There is also one big question, when is Desmond going to tell her parents about her conversion? Desmond is still trying to figure that out. She said she would like to have a stable job and be financially independent before she breaks the news. And when she tells her parents, she wants them to understand that she made the conversion for the right reasons. "I've always told myself, I will tell them way before I get married, because I don't want them to think I converted just for a guy or that I was brainwashed in any way," Desmond said.
Despite the struggles, Desmond said she is happy being Muslim and now has a stronger relationship with God.
"In Christianity I was frustrated all the time ... I didn't really feel the presence of God, and I really do in Islam. I really feel like since I've become Muslim, I feel like my prayers are heard, I feel like I'm just on the right path."
"I really, really do believe in God. One hundred percent. And I don't think I could have said that before."
Society's impression
Desmond is an anthropology major. She talks about the reaction she got from some of her professors after she started wearing the hijab.
Why wear the hijab?
Desmond explains some of the benefits to wearing the hijab.
